Our 53rd Word is Jealous

The definition of jealous is a passionate desire for exclusivity within a committed relationship

“The Lord is a jealous and avenging God; the Lord takes vengeance and is filled with wrath. The Lord takes vengeance on his foes and vents his wrath against his enemies.” (Nahum 1:2)

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A growing number of people in contemporary culture practice “open relationships” and even “open marriages”. This is where a couple enters into a relationship but then grants each other permission to be intimate with anyone else they happen to meet and like. One-night stands? Sleeping with coworkers? No problem, because open relationships are rooted in consensual non-monogamy. The old marital vow about “forsaking all others”? Forget it. In an open relationship no such expectations exist because no such restrictions exist.

This odd phenomenon raises multiple questions, but the most obvious one is, don’t people in such relationships get jealous, at least sometimes?

You bet they do.

In the Old Testament, God is described several times as being jealous (Exodus 20:5; Deuteronomy 32:21; Ezekiel 16:42). The Hebrew word suggests zeal mixed with passion. Jealousy therefore is a consuming desire for exclusivity in a relationship and a fierce commitment to protect what is one’s own.

We nod when the Bible says that God is “holy” and “loving.” The adjective “jealous,” however, makes us wince. It shouldn’t. From the beginning, the people of God willingly committed to enter into an exclusive relationship with the Almighty. They agreed to His up-front terms of “no other gods”. They later promised to love the Lord with all their hearts and souls, not just part of their hearts, and not just on days they weren’t flirting with some other deity.

A careful reading of Scripture shows that God isn’t jealous like some unhinged stalker on social media. He doesn’t force anyone to be in a relationship with Him. However, those who say by faith they want to be His people can’t also have other loves and engage in flings whenever the whim strikes.

In a sense, this was the reason God sent the prophets, and it was their primary message: God never has, and never will, settle for an open relationship with His people.

Desiring things that don’t belong to you, another’s wealth or looks, let’s say, that’s sinful jealousy. That’s being jealous of someone. Wanting good things, the exclusive love of a spouse, for example, that’s a pure jealousy. that’s being jealous for someone or something.

When you think about it, God has to be jealous for His people. Imagine if He were to say, “Go ahead. Give yourself to other loves. I don’t care.” In that case God would essentially be saying, “Other things are just as deserving of your attention and affection as I am.” That idea, of course, is a lie, and God cannot lie. His holy nature means He could never suggest or sanction an evil thing.

Enough pondering. Let’s make this personal. God is jealous for you. He wants your whole heart.

Does He have it?

Questions to Ponder

1. When is it wrong to be jealous?
2. When is it actually healthy and right to be jealous?